the only defense needed is knowledge

The only defense needed is knowledge. Knowledge defends you against every possible form of harm in existence. The more knowledge you have, the less fear you have, the less pain you have, the less stress you feel, the less anguish you feel, and the less danger you experience of any form or sort. Think of this very carefully now for this is very important: Where is there any limitation in the concept behind the word “knowledge”? Being that there is no limitation, what is the value of that word? Infinite. Can you conceive of how that one concept, that one meaning frees you from all limitation? Use your sixth sense to conceive of how the word, the term, the meaning of knowledge can provide with all that you could possibly ever need. If you think carefully you will begin to see glimpses of how this is true in its greatest possible form.




August 5, 1995
A: Remember, for quite some period of time now, as you measure time, we have tried to inform you to the effect that your third density environment has been completely controlled and will be controlled by forces that seek only to serve themselves for a period, as you would measure time, exceeding 309,000 years.
And, many, many times in your current life existence, you have reflected upon the questions involving the beneficial or otherwise existence of individuals or an individual IN this environment, the pros and cons of continuing such existence, and what is involved with it. And, you have correctly perceived the conclusion that this is, primarily, a negative experience.
But, not that good things do not come from a negative experience, but that the basic indicator that it is a negative experience, should also indicate to you that it is an experience related to a chain of command involving Service to Self. And, therefore, Service to Self is a manipulative action rather than an openly beneficial action. It is a withdrawing and taking motion rather than an expanding motion. And these statements can answer for you, not only simple questions, but the very nature of your existence to begin with as well.




Is there a truly benovelent force in the universe?

that you question this is to question your very existence

do you not know your own incarnation?


joy is not defined by other people or society

joy is truth

knowledge of truth

is joy


all things

will bring


all things are
as they are

they move


the signs will show

remembered density

of oneself in love
and it was as in a dream
for there appeared
one who knew not
about the touch
as me

when two are joined in this way
that know light pleasure and are free
to look upon the simple wealth

this day we walk as true beings
in this harmony
it never is what you expect
in ways of trust
waves of lust
not to consume

to know
not to use

to grow

to thyself be true

Is there any truly benovelent force in the universe?

Counsel all things
Lay them at the throne of the higher self
Remember my young friend
That you are young
Trust no-one but for their fruit
Is present
The vibration of divine sweetness
The sour smell of rotting flesh
Between these two


thankyou for my friends
to the far reaches they roam
such a dynamic bunch of free spirits
without a hearth to call their own
that spiral fiery to the bone
never alone
thanks for them speaking
in conversation in the night
but more for their silence
for it speaks of adventure
mission, home, light


the darkness was a process of releasing, the night was a blessing

Back again:


For many years I asked and prayed for relief and it has been dark but now there is an emerging clarity. Now I see that I have been getting and receiving all I had asked for, the darkness was a process of releasing, the night was a blessing.

This morning I look towards the dawn and know I have come through it, I now have the strength to relinquish; I am shedding the layers of fear that have built up through the years. Without the changes within I am useless to the world, without the guidance bringing about the crisis I would have been stuck in self-indulgence. Keep collecting experiences but relax in the higher vibrations once more.


Last weekend was a reminder that when we are ready, when we are up to the task, our souls will deliver. Yes, a truckload of misery, trauma, abuse and lack of self worth from the depths of the sub-conscious will get dumped on us.

It is time to release the pain that we carry, we have to take an honest look at ourselves in order to move forward. We always think it's all gone afterwards but good to know now that there is always more, so be prepared because it can come out of nowhere.

We come to this place; where we have outgrown our drama and  the coping strategies that we have used for life have become outdated. Through a trial by fire we come to realise we are ready to ditch the behaviours that no longer serve us, shedding the skins of many years of numbing out the pain.

When it hits it can be overwhelming, it can scare the shit out of us but we are older and wiser now, it takes courage to surrender but we are ready. Then as we emerge from the darkness, we see that we are able, we are capable, we are strong enough and we are worthy. We are exactly where we need to be: purified, uplifted, and back on track in a whole new way.


all things work together for good

Illusions about about partnership: one down. The life goes on in it's own way. I'm taking a sidetrack again because of this pain. When I need someone to say I understand, I know this, I feel you. The drugs do what they do. My coping strategy works for this. This is good for me, the wine just helps me feeling fine. When I truly felt this life, that's when I knew I would lose my mind over it. The ease with which they go about the daily life. Just surface being without a care for the downtrodden from birth, I cannot fathom the 'all is working together for good' theory when I know that out there suffering is tolerated and allowed. I cannot own it, I cannot go on with these demands of me, I've decided to let it slide, a beautiful slide downwards. I've found that being authentic isn't what society wants, I've found that I don't fit in, time and time again, I just can't fake it, I suck at pretending, I know it's what they desire from me but I have to say that courage isn't appreciated if you want to get a place in the sun. I understand the addicts, I say brothers and sisters, you go for it. I don't blame you one bit. They drive by so slick, they ride by so shady. The sunlight splits when entering the windows of the house, this multiplicity is not found in my fellow men with their blind belief in the dreamworld. So phantoms reach and I know that death is my only true comfort. It has been said of me that I am proud, that I stand above and it repulses them, it has been said that my barricade blocks closeness, that I can't be reached because of what I know. Maybe I do know more than is good for me but it was shown, it was there, it is there still, the truth. Yes, I am judgmental, I agree, I haven’t found that mediocrity works for me very well. I've found balance to be boring, I've found society to be repulsive and slow. Now I am checking out, good luck with your kids and your happy go lucky. Apparently it's all worth your effort.


illusion of seperation

The truth of the matter is
that your entire life consists
of nothing but Angel time.


gotta love polarity now

creation destruction
i am dancing for them both


wake up, wake up, we are almost home
stuck, fuck this impudent sense of being
trapped in density
those that you once coached now whistle carelessly
while you writhe in disgust
in all honesty
I curse all creation
never rewarded for the effort
consolation ever further
any effort at positivity is fucked
now just sit and be happy for the passing day
one closer to death
one closer to an ending
one closer to ever increasing pain
It is laughable how much care you once had for yourself
so much compassion
brought to tears as you watched the fellow humans
the gravel cuts my face
I seek blood loss
I smoke so much, still not enough
I hope my lungs burn
I hope my throat burns
may I never speak of the illusuary light again
may I never allow myself to entertain any thought of love
one step away from doom
I welcome the destruction of self
I welcome the torture of flesh
my own, my body may it suffer for all the falseness
May I never believe myself to be loved again
for all my caring I am less of a man
for all my loving I am closer to truth
press the button
no chance of grace
what stupidity to think that I was special
from now on I shall shut the fuck up
I vow never to reach
I vow never to teach
I shall embark now on a life of utter destruction
May I end up on the streets
May I end up in the gutter
May I end up in hell
and know that I am home
and all is well

the cold of this climate

Through this undertone of deep sorrow
I continue to wish that it was over
This life, because I have never had the time
for romance, soul longing
Desert of rampant gay sex destruction
spread like a cosmos of death
They claim it brings joy but I cry such tears
at the lack I perceive, the cold of this climate
My soul, you know of this cruelty, you know of this desolation,
yet you do nothing, you pitiful creature
It is not great what you have done.
This sort must be extinct, the species that would love and be loved
so simple, somehow innocent, you are naive, you are dumb!
Such wishful fantasy to think
that your fellow men, even know it
You percieve, such fellowship, fools practise
this temporary oblivion.
I am dying, I pray I am dying
This reality just renders me, these dying embers are gutting,
cutting to the inner flesh of me,
such a simple thing; a touch, a smile, simple romance
unknown, companionship,
I cannot be contained here, I am alone
just a tremble of warmth, I see none in this city
I am a sorrow, self pity
no, no, not going out to get
to take, steal, there are none