Friendship goes through (extreme) pluto in capricorn

I'm sorry that I cause you extreme pain, that you feel that my vibe is like a fist crushing you, that u sense a huge amount of anger/rage in my vibe and that it is somehow aimed at you.
I feel I have spent my whole life making concessions for everyone around me, especially emotional ones. 
The conversation we just had and your accusations really bother me. So much that I feel that our friendship has now changed.
I refuse to become a watered down version of myself because you feel threatened. 
Threatened by what exactly?
Is this cognitive dissonance on your part in relation to the subject matter that threatens your entrenched view of the subjects and people (politicians) involved?
Politics is part of most things, nothing is really devoid of politics or view-compromise, so I feel we can no longer have an honest dialogue. 
I'm unsure why exactly my apparent vibe hurts you so intensely.
What exactly is happening to your sense of self and safety while I'm giving off this 'vibe' and why is that?
I never intend to make anything personal and yet you feel this personally...as an attack on your person?
Thank you for shedding light on our friendship, though I don't know how I will ever be exonerated from your accusations when they are aimed at a perceived transitory state as far as I am concerned and not within my conscious awareness.
Should this behavior become part of my conscious awareness then I will question whether of not I shall feel justified to make changes. I feel now more than ever that I need to allow and give space for my whole being and not feel like I have to hide or adjust anything. This is part of my integrity. 
I will give it thought obviously as the whole thing (his political stance is pain-inducing and threatening because it's also seething with rage directed at my person????) is quite obscure to me and perplexes me, mostly because it's so vague and I never, ever seek to cause anyone pain, on the contrary I seek to allow harmony between all people. 
I feel no attachment to politics on any deep level, my attachment is to seeking truth and speaking my truth. This I have found can cause others distress and I understand why that is and so it would be better if we never discuss anything remotely political again and seeing as most things we discuss have a political element maybe it is better we stick to discussing the weather and the state of the roads from now on.


Egyptian Blue Lotus

Lotus Soma-theories | Secret Drugs of Buddhism

Named in imitation of Wasson’s SOMA: Divine Mushroom of Immortality, David L. Spess’s SOMA the Divine Hallucinogen offers the hypothesis that soma was a species of lotus. Or, rather, that it may have been any of a number of lotus or water-lily species of the Nympaea and Nelumbo genera. Spess bases his reasoning on the Ṛig Veda and on Vedic mythology, supplemented with appeals to European and oriental alchemy. Yet despite the intricacy of his arguments, Spess does not tell us what, if any, psychoactive substances are to be found in lotuses. Richard Rudgley does, though. In an account of Meso-American drug traditions, he mentions the presence of apomorphine-like compounds in the Egyptian blue lotus (Nymphaea caerulens) and noted that it is used in North Africa as “an effective substitute for opium”. (Could this be the source of Homer’s North African lotophagoi?) Jonathan Ott, however, dismisses all claims to psychoactivity in lotuses and water-lilies as unfounded and pharmacologically unsound.

Secret Drugs of Buddhism pdf


What we do not hold onto does not exist

In the higher realms, reality is very much in the moment. If we do not hold something in our consciousness, it simply ceases to exist. We have no attachments. We are creating our own world around us through our beliefs and thoughts and what we do not hold onto does not exist.


Working for a Soul

In order to understand the interrelation of truth and falsehood in life, a man must understand falsehood in himself, the constant incessant lies he tells himself.
- G.I. Gurdjieff


Reconnecting with nature makes us healthier & happier

Reconnecting with nature makes us healthier & happier -- Science of the Spirit: Over 100 studies have shown that being in nature—or even watching it in videos—benefits our brains, bodies, feelings, thought processes, and social interactions.


Ayahuasca — The Fashionable Path of Awakening?

“Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect.” These words were spoken by Krishnamurti in 1929 as he dissolved the global spiritual organization that had formed in order to promote him as the new Messiah. As I witness the growing popularity ayahuasca, I hope we do not turn this medicine into a Messiah that has to come to save us. Although I see ayahuasca as a powerful tool of individual and planetary awakening, I am also seeing it evolve into a spiritually-sophisticated brand that we wear and glorify. As any trend becomes more popular, authentic original impulses are replaced by unconscious conformity: we follow trends as unquestioning groups, rather than as conscious free-willing individuals.

The New Yorker recently published an article on ayahuasca, calling it the “drug of choice for the age of kale”. The author narrated her only ayahuasca experience, in a Brooklyn yoga studio, next to a “thumping dance club”. The article makes no mention of the rich cultural diversity of ayahuasca traditions or the countless stories of ayahuasca-assisted personal transformation. However, I thought her association of ayahuasca with kale was spot-on. Ayahuasca may be answering the call for a global paradigm shift, yet it also fulfills an obsessive craving for wellness, detox, and healing. Plant medicines can be powerful catalysts for healing, when approached with individual and social self-awareness, and these two forms of awareness – of ourselves and of our society – are difficult to cultivate when we do what the cool kids are doing. What we can do is learn to discriminate between self-expression and imitation, and between the authentic desires of our hearts and the chatter of our minds. Are we acting from our core or simply being blown around by the cultural zeitgeist?
When to take ayahuasca?

These distinctions are absolutely necessary. Powerful tools can be misused and have damaging effects. My original inspiration for writing this article was a botched iboga ceremony that left me so traumatized that I was forced to accept that 1) there were some highly irresponsible and reckless shamans/healers out there and 2) there were highly irresponsible and reckless individuals like myself naively attending ceremonies without proper awareness. I’ll save the details for a future article, but I will share that I experienced an abyss so unbearably painful that my only wish was for it to end, without caring what came after this end. I understood the torment of suicide. These realms of consciousness are real. I share them here not out of masochism, but to emphasize the importance of preparation, discrimination, and intuition.

We can sharpen our skills by coming back to the basics: set and setting. Set – why am I here? And how do I really feel in my heart of hearts? Setting – do I feel safe? Do I trust this environment and the people around me? It is crucial to critically evaluate the shaman by their “fruits”: what type of life has this person created for themselves? How do they relate to their family and partner? How do they relate to their assistants and workers? Have the workers been there a long time? Are they happy to work there? These questions reveal a lot about what kind of person the shaman is, and therefore what kind of shaman they are.

We also need to de-romanticize our understanding of shamanic traditions. We crave for more natural, organic lives, for health, and for wisdom, so it is not a surprise that we fantasize about Amazonian tribes and their psychedelic brews. But our colorful projections have consequences and can reinforce racist, neocolonial dynamics. Not all medicines are appropriate at a given time or compatible with a given person. Indigenous peoples are born into tribes, whereas Westerners self-select into their tribes. Not all shamans heal; some throw curses; others do both. And I have yet to meet a shaman who calls themselves a shaman. Shaman is a word from Siberia popularized by Western anthropologists to categorize a wide variety of seemingly related spiritual practices.

Our interaction with indigenous medicines is not a one way street – with us simply “gaining wisdom” from them. As any quantum physicist or modern anthropologist will tell you, observation entails participation. It’s a two way street: the massive influx of ayahuasca tourists to the Amazon impacts local economies, culture, and healing traditions. In addition to our own healing, we need to remember that indigenous communities have their own healing to do. Are we operating as co-creators or are we imposing ourselves on them? Am I giving as much as I am taking? And where is all this ayahuasca coming from? This is not a question of shame, but of awareness.

The reality of indigenous peoples is not a Jungle Book fairy tale. Their cultures are steadily declining in the face of consumerism, missionary activity, and the rape of nature by oil pipelines and industrial super-farms. Ayahuasca tourism is a booming industry in much of the northwest Amazon and its reality is more nuanced than we like to think. Explore the backstreets of Iquitos, Peru and see for yourself the shadow side of the Western appetite for healing.

Please don’t mistake my words for pessimism. The intention that infuse these words is for renewed awareness and courage. Charles Eisenstein writes that “no optimism can be authentic that has not visited the depths of despair…no despair is authentic that has not fully let in the joy.” The world is not ending. It is only changing, as all things change. Stop, breathe, be gentle. May all beings be happy and peaceful.

by Félix de Rosen

Félix de Rosen is a free spirit who aims to catalyze conscious planetary evolution. His long-term vision is to organize sacred arts festivals and create spaces of trust, spontaneity, and transparency. He was born in France, grew up in the US, and is learning how to let go and relax. He is currently based in California.

Spiritual Bypassing: Ten completely B.S. practices of supposedly spiritual people

In Robert August Masters' groundbreaking book, Spiritual Bypassing: When Spirituality Disconnects Us From What Really Matters, he writes:

"Aspects of spiritual bypassing include exaggerated detachment, emotional numbing and repression, overemphasis on the positive, anger-phobia, blind or overly tolerant compassion, weak or too porous boundaries, lopsided development (cognitive intelligence often being far ahead of emotional and moral intelligence), debilitating judgment about one's negativity or shadow side, devaluation of the personal relative to the spiritual, and delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being."

Spiritual Bypassing: Ten completely B.S. practices of supposedly spiritual people -- Science of the Spirit 

Truth stands, even if there be no public support. It is self-sustained.

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.

- Mohandas Gandhi