free will zone??

Ra points out that there are “many upon your so-called inner planes which are negatively oriented and thus available as inner teachers or guides and so-called possessors of certain souls who seek [to control or manipulate others].”

In addition to the philosophy of manipulation, the negative hyperdimensional controllers also pass technical information to their third-density agents. This technology includes various means of control or manipulation of others. Through this technology, the Controllers of the Matrix began to set up conditions in our world whereby the masses of people will be enslaved by their free will.


warning! awakening can cause depression!

It's a topsy turvy world we live in and we have been told so many times that becoming aware, waking up, working on ourselves, raising our consciousness and ascending etc will bring great feelings of joy, happiness, contentment and all manner of positive things. We will be manifesting left and right all of the material things we believe we deserve because me made it somehow to the next level or something like that and yes this is true but it's as usual only one half of the spectrum. This is a half-truth.
The other half takes some getting used to; sorry to break it to ya. When we get past the first layering of illusions - most people don't even get that far - that's when we get the duality lessons starting to pop up, then come the lies, so many lies, so many cover-ups, so many deceptions and this is just the first layer of many. It is ugly, so very vile and it's all part of the show my friends. 
If we have the guts to continue than just a little later there will be plenty of pain coming up as the illusions and masks are stripped away one by one and everything we held to be true makes way for the real truth of this dimension and the real plight of every human being on this planet.

chop wood carry water

The teacher's face showed no pity, his eyes no mercy and the young student was once again a little baffled and even hurt by his last remark.

"You certainly aren't here to make me feel better are you?" said the student.

"Your self-importance must be the first thing to go" the teacher replied.



researching past lives

apparantly I could have been (am now)
a male prostitute
drag queen

cause of death:

Atlantean overseers “expunging” guilt from that life experience

helpers always helpers
never forget them
always there for you

there is a sphere
growth therefore

see how these things unfold


you can rain rockets
down on the children

it has no meaning for the blind

change other
do not want

there is no valid justification

narcissistic phase of infancy

here in solace you know this
drink from the vine

what about them out there
they take more than they give

ever a mirror of the world you have been

growth-denying mode?

breaks down the norm
trailing in the path of shiva

capricorn destiny
suffer until
the shifting earth

tree continues to grow
all these tempest
brings forth fruit

lazy trigger

As I drink this wine
tears inside for them
this war
new blinders

I find that we
cannot turn away
yet I do
every day I feel
deep cry

All time high
of media lies
such sadness
was known in me
from before

One day we lay
underneath that burning sun
and we became one
with its rays

Each hour pray
for renewal of strength
not for lack of apathy
but for them too
I am here

endure almost unimaginable

stuck, hard luck

please kill off the self-importance vibe

you are really just getting used to this reality

of duality



fresh breaks


Never known
Blessed when left alone

Not to worry
There are no mistakes


the other route

sure the sun will rise again
this is nothing really

there will be sustenance
an adventure

even as they wail
it will be as if


was the brightest ever
so new

Morphine - Cure for Pain (Full Album)


the only defense needed is knowledge

The only defense needed is knowledge. Knowledge defends you against every possible form of harm in existence. The more knowledge you have, the less fear you have, the less pain you have, the less stress you feel, the less anguish you feel, and the less danger you experience of any form or sort. Think of this very carefully now for this is very important: Where is there any limitation in the concept behind the word “knowledge”? Being that there is no limitation, what is the value of that word? Infinite. Can you conceive of how that one concept, that one meaning frees you from all limitation? Use your sixth sense to conceive of how the word, the term, the meaning of knowledge can provide with all that you could possibly ever need. If you think carefully you will begin to see glimpses of how this is true in its greatest possible form.




August 5, 1995
A: Remember, for quite some period of time now, as you measure time, we have tried to inform you to the effect that your third density environment has been completely controlled and will be controlled by forces that seek only to serve themselves for a period, as you would measure time, exceeding 309,000 years.
And, many, many times in your current life existence, you have reflected upon the questions involving the beneficial or otherwise existence of individuals or an individual IN this environment, the pros and cons of continuing such existence, and what is involved with it. And, you have correctly perceived the conclusion that this is, primarily, a negative experience.
But, not that good things do not come from a negative experience, but that the basic indicator that it is a negative experience, should also indicate to you that it is an experience related to a chain of command involving Service to Self. And, therefore, Service to Self is a manipulative action rather than an openly beneficial action. It is a withdrawing and taking motion rather than an expanding motion. And these statements can answer for you, not only simple questions, but the very nature of your existence to begin with as well.