We gain integrity and value by living according to the truth

"Being honest and sincere means confronting our inner experience and our outer life in a truthful way. Being sincere means not lying to ourselves, not rationalizing, not comforting, not postponing, not bandaging difficulties. Being sincere means grappling with our life and coming to terms with it with a sense of integrity and self-respect.

Over time we gain self-respect by grappling with our deficiencies, by learning that we can do it. If we run away from the difficult parts, we’ll feel like a coward. If we feel like a coward, we won’t respect ourselves. And we can’t lie to ourselves about what we’re actually doing; on a deep level, we know the truth. So we have to grapple with the difficulties in a courageous way. That’s how we gain respect and value. If we run away from things, there’s no way we can value ourselves.

To have a sense of integrity, we have to prove to ourselves that we’re worthy of it. I don’t mean we have to prove something to our superego. I mean we have to bring forth what we are, bring forth all our resources to confront the difficulties that we have in our life. As far as I know, we can’t become real, can’t become truthful embodiments of reality unless we take the risks to live that way. We must make the necessary sacrifices to be and to live that reality.

It’s not likely to happen that you sit there meditating, have wonderful experiences, and then suddenly you’re a real human being. Living according to the truth requires sacrifices and risks. The Work is a self-confrontation, an attempt to be more and more truthful and sincere with yourself. We gain integrity and value by living according to the truth. The Work is not separate from being real, from living our lives. The Work simply guides us about how to go about living life in a real way.

For me, it’s sometimes much more satisfying to say one real word to somebody than to go on a vacation and have fun. Pleasure and relaxation are necessary and important, but it’s much more valuable to me if I can confront a situation squarely, and be what I can be in that moment."

~ A.H. Almaas

@timeoftransition

The most difficult things that happen to you are, on the deepest level, the most compassionate

“The problematic situations in your life are not chance or haphazard. They are specifically yours, designed specifically for you by a part of you that loves you more than anything else. The part of you that loves you more than anything else has created roadblocks to lead you to yourself. Without something pricking you in the side, saying, "Look here! This way!" you are not going to go the right direction. The part of you that designed this loves you so much that it doesn't want you to lose the chance. It will go to extreme measures to wake you up, and it will make you suffer greatly if you don't listen. What else can it do? That is its purpose. 

How much suffering and difficulty it brings you is immaterial in relation to the fulfillment and satisfaction you will have when you actually struggle and see the fruits of the struggle. You can look at your problems as difficulties to be gotten rid of as fast as possible with the least struggle, or you can look at them from the perspective of the part of you that is guiding you to yourself. If you look at them from that more accurate, more finely tuned perspective, the new issues that then arise have a new value. They have nutrition that you need.

The whole process works with the utmost purity, the most complete intelligence and compassion. The most difficult things that happen to you are, on the deepest level, the most compassionate. Ultimately, the struggle with yourself leads to what is called the “Black Death," which is the death of the personality, when you wrestle it to the ground, struggling with it. 

That doesn't mean fighting, punching, kicking, screaming. Struggling and wrestling is the process of understanding. It requires persistence and steadfastness. You wrestle with it until it finally says "I give up." Ultimately, you reach the final understanding of the personality. When you see through to its source, its center-which is the experience called “Black Death"- you will recognize that the heart of this death is pure compassion.”

A.H. Almaas