Brow of Calm: DONALD TRUMP

Local liberal Joe Bailey has for years enjoyed cheering on his son Brandon at his Little League soccer games, but lately that has proven difficult, since his cheering typically involves shouting the insurrectionist chant "Let's Go Brandon" from the stands.

"I try to be so careful, but every so often in the excitement, I let slip a 'Let's go Brandon!'" said Bailey. "Then all the parents join in chanting, the game devolves into fits of laughter, and all the Trump supporters are trying to give me a high-five. It's horrible!"

According to sources, Mr. Bailey has thought about changing his son's name to something like "Bandleigh" or "Braidlynio" to make things a bit easier.

"Woooo!" said Bailey as his son made a great play, trying desperately to avoid using the dreaded phrase. "Let's go... bud! Well played! Positive reinforcement!"

Just then, Brandon scored a goal, causing his dad to jump to his feet and involuntarily scream "LET'S GO BRANDON!", causing the entire crowd to join in.

Joe Bailey is now on 12 FBI watch lists.

https://babylonbee.com/news/liberal-parent-trying-to-figure-out-how-to-cheer-on-their-son-brandon

“If you catch 100 red fire ants as well as 100 large black ants, and put them in a jar, at first, nothing will happen. However, if you violently shake the jar and dump them back on the ground the ants will fight until they eventually kill each other. The thing is, the red ants think the black ants are the enemy and vice versa, when in reality, the real enemy is the person who shook the jar. This is exactly what’s happening in society today. Liberal vs. Conservative. Black vs. White. Pro Mask vs. Anti-Mask. Vax vs. Anti-vax. Rich vs. poor. Man vs. woman. Cop vs. citizen. The real question we need to be asking ourselves is who’s shaking the jar… and why?” – Shera Starr

WHO IS SHAKING THE JAR?