Detachment - I don’t necessarily need the answers anymore

I have realized these past weeks the significance of what I have been learning from life these past months, the books I have been reading, the new people I have been meeting and the old feelings that are fleeting. It is as if I have surfaced after holding my breath in the murky depths of some dark lake, and close to drowning I was. I have surfaced now and am drawing in the pure air and looking up at the vastness of a clear blue sky. I used to take life so damn seriously, I was so ‘deep’ and so totally fascinated by all the mystery and trying to find answers to all the drama. It had become almost too much to bear. In fact it had become too much to bear, over and over again I would analyze things to death, never really getting any closer to the truth. I was so attached to life. That is the problem with approaching something with the intellect and not with the heart. I’m not saying in the least that I don’t analyze things anymore, I shall never stop, and analyzing and pondering things is quite inherent to my personality (INFJ). These past years have been important for me to reach this point, reach some perspective! I will always need some kind of code to crack; I will always need the myth. It’s just not so relevant what the outcome of that analyzing is, I don’t necessarily need the answers anymore and they shall come in time as I have recently learnt. That is when the questions fall away and the truths start to appear. When you stop thinking about what you want, you start to get the things you need. This new way of living, this ‘taking things as they come’ way of looking and experiencing the world is quite liberating. I have more time to relax, look around me and enjoy the surroundings, the people and the things that come along my way. Adults forget sometimes how to be playful, how to use their imagination, how to have fun. I may just be too young to understand why though.

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