07/11/2006

the shining

There is a hole inside, there is lack of love. I do not know why I am thinking familiar thoughts. Feeling as if I will never shake them off, the cold of being without again, I even wonder if I ever will live without these feelings for they are older than I am. There are no role models in my life. I am my own hero, I am the warrior, and I have chosen my own path. I will reap the rewards for the hardship, for the dislocation of my explanation and for the solitary confinements of my outward face. The closer I grow towards others and the more included I seem to become, the louder the separation is and the tearing away inside. Like a truth ringing out so clear in my mind. It is clanging like cold iron and screaming at me. A brimming of tears, a child that wants to black it all out, an adult that knows he cannot. The moon will light up the path, show me my road in the dark, gradually I will see the beauty of it wrought beneath my feet and know it is all my own, this path is my home, twisting and turning. However much I want to live the life they have, live the simplicity of destiny on which they thrive, I realize that I am the shining and everything else is dull and rusting. I will die inside many times and yet live my life a thousand fold.

3 comments:

  1. Closer to others - the further seems the divide. I know that! All my friends know it - I wonder how many sisters and brothers are entering closer relations believing that all of us need each other to start the great adventure of Aquarius - listen brother - invest your soul in humanity - we are all we have left.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nicely put. We are the new dreams, we can create, give and recieve. Thankyou

    ReplyDelete