turbulence invigorating

There is a distinct nervous undertone felt deep within the earth and the distant singing of whales; their notes in the deep.

That is my destination: the sea.

First I thought I was jaded, tired of waiting, even apathetic. Then I thought of myself as slightly numbed, trailing in the path of Shiva.

In my dreams I see what I am reaping. The Subconscious is clearing and the past dissolving, burning out of control.

On the other side of that psychic filter awaits the mirror. Now I must see what I have become, but something has made me retreat and now I just wait, in between attentive listening and superficial destructive distraction.

I was moving towards that place where the water and the earth meet.

There is no judgment while feeling that nervous undertone, no fear while the tremors are felt.

From deep in the earth comes that consistency of nurturing, something that is ancient and ongoing. This thought is the relaxation.

Now I am in many places at once, nervous and excited as if in the throes of human love and all this in between the silent elation and the suppressed chaos, turbulence invigorating.