(n)ever finished

a life that is more detached from the general hive vibe

while writing creatively i am always channeling to some degree

I am still rather at a loss as to what to make of this compulsive, destructive behaviour, i am also aware of experience being important and desire being rife with illusion.

I feel somewhat slutty and dirty now after some encounters.

I feel i am abusing my body, mind and sanctity by this behaviour. I am ashamed partially but also rather intrigued. Feel for drama.

I pray that my body can be clean of all of this lust-filled nature but experience teaches us that it is a nature; an energy. I pray to be more balanced and respectful,

I also am trying to not be judgmental, so i was horny, well it is quite an experience to have no boundaries for awhile.

Now no more obsessions or fixations, healing of abuse, shedding of darker matter and health, healthy body.

It's all a matter of perception and where to draw the line, well i know now and thanks for the pleasure!

Mostly it seems futile but feels right, saying a prayer, asking for guidance or trying to numb myself out, the tides coming in, gotta move aside for the water.

ha those years in amsterdam, bittersweet as always i believe

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