You cannot be vulnerable

All I was thinking; the anxious looping has been so off it would seem. Now my intuition is returning.

It was not sex that I feared but this lack of willingness to be intimate in that way coming from you.

You who were so sexually expressive; now you hide away from me. You will do anything but engage me physically now. You are more attentive than ever to my needs, to accommodate me in all aspects except touch.

This could appear to be a new cruelty, unexpected even from you, I will not beg for it though. I know you now much better. You don't contemplate this yourself.

I see that you are terrified of this work that has begun after those sex-filled days, allowing me so close has changed you and now you dare not go down that path again.

You love me and are attracted to me more than ever but you fear me; you fear the love and the intimacy. This is a sign of deeper affection from you.

I miss your touch now more than ever, I am starved towards insecurity by your sudden coldness even as you work and pay for me, shop and cook for me. Smile and play but no sex, no deeper bonding for that would mean casting off your armor and you cannot be vulnerable.