26-09
I don't understand, I don't understand,
living well seems to be to no avail here
I miss u baby.
So close by there are those that
succeed in this game and then there is loss.
The lust lies scattered like dust over
this silver, there is no core to this pain, there is no explanation
for this missing, this fate is just choking me.
I know you go on with her, with them,
into the distance you are walking and I feel like I will forever be
trailing, out in the cold behind.
Kiss me one more time for this
forbidden love ending, you can hold your head high with your
companions and me on the sidelines, I have been waiting, filling up
the cracks with studies of life; futile.
I knew I was cheating myself, falling
in love with this premonition, when I should know when fear is gone,
numbness prevails.
It looks like the longing for a full,
deep and intense experience is universally present but can never be
fulfilled in this life, any experience of this is fleeting and
perishable, fragile.
This results in clingy behavior but
desire is rotting, it stinks and yet it never leaves us.
To be able to feel and know anything in
its totality is a futile pursuit and impossible for it goes against
the nature of reality in which only change is a constant.
We will be forever moving through
differing states, moving through contradicting emotions and
relationships and pining for a state of love, pleasure or contentment
that is lasting but nothing lasts beyond any measure of time,
certainly not love, certainly not desire.
When the dark thunderheads approached
me through the window, here was this body that aches and creaks
alone.
For the day is passing like the white
sands through my fingers, for the evening comes as a remedy to be
mixed, soothing as a lotion for the cracked skin of my land.
I drink of the old solution that I once
shared, the song of Solomon and in the air it carries as a siren
across the tide.
Drowning in the creek, face down in the
muddy water, I would surface but hide, in the grasses I weep for my
lost shepherd, in the darkness I am racked for my heart.
He came over the moor with sadness on
his brow, like was his trade.
When the music comes in the night; the
dub reggae, then shall I slow down to meet the memory of you while I
lye and absorb.
Drinks can never fully numb me out to this romance,
smoke can never fully cloud the movies of the mind, sleep can not
shut out the sensation of skin on skin.
Your perfume lingers on my
shirt, the band plays on, the floating chords.
