suffering! truth! all part of the show!

To know, to really know, well there is suffering involved, there is absolutely no escape from the torment and it always reaches an unbearable, intolerable physical and emotional boiling point; the body starts falling apart, the mind can no longer remember the goodness of soul. There comes a kind of breaking point (the tower) and one is humbled in ones pride, in ones belief in illusions. Desire.

To know truth, one must pass through the eye of the needle, in that one must be completely honest and completely surrendered to this life-force that is a huge mystery. One must give up all pretenses, all idea's of one's own power, then may arise virtue.

How the apparel confuses, how the smiles deceive, how the lost seem to be found, how the wretched feign happiness and they believe it, so unaware are they of their own unrest, that falseness repeats itself. In deceit they may cower and hide, seemingly to rise, yet they are fallen so far now.

Yet have I to meet a man that has soul rebel qualities, yet have I to meet a man that is disgusted with this programmed human nature as I am, or a man that even knows anything human as programmed or humanity as nature, or even of this subject, this experience, that it exists, that the mind can think about this. Yet have I to meet a man that is fully aware of his complicity in this decaying form, that does not revel in this sickness, that does not wallow in his ignorance, that will not be part of this entropy.

Those that seek balance are filled with chaos; the mind or society they seek to balance is one that cannot be restored, the life they seek to balance is rooted in ego chaos. They will have to change completely, holistically. It can be likened to a pretty flower, plucked in joy; then withering in the hand.

Those that know good and that know evil, those that can differentiate properly, that still may hear; they suffer, maybe the most. The suffering is not so much a question of bruised ego, or the unfulfilled desire, or poverty or even pain, the suffering comes forth from knowing, awareness, consciousness. You cannot hide for very long, the truth of who you really are, the soul of a man, it moves, it says; seek truth or suffer, know truth or suffer. The suffering of most people is tied in with ego; not getting what they want, feel they deserve, what they desire. This I would call superficial suffering for true suffering has no physical qualities, it comes from the soul, it is existential in nature, it has more to do with 'not being' and less to do with 'not getting'.

The cruelty to self is the denial of truth, the denial of truth leads to deceit, lies, cheating, unfairness, evil. Yet they that deny truth, know it not. Of all things in this life; it is truth and living in truth, and knowing oneself in truth that brings the greatest relief, the finest reward, the peace that need not be understood, the true 'being'. Life is a dance with truth; a game of hide and seek.

Alas, there is no trust in the life-force, the mystery, they mistrust goodness, evil may be more predictable for them, the darkness may be safe or they just don't know the difference nor care for it if they did. They question not, only allow, give consent to war, destruction.

All part of the show! Judge not! (All of the above).