isle of crete

feel this shimmering warmth between us
then the colder currents

look at how they made a kind of window

for the moon and stars to shine in
and this tremulous light to surround us

The secret force and energetic interaction 2

My aura can become enlarged and I can mostly control it. I can send energy through space, I can send thoughts, it is possible. This is a reality I am used to, perhaps not yet fully adjusted to. The ethics involved still puzzle me, for example whether or not it is ok to send someone x or y (thought) energy?

I know that energetic rape exists but also energetic healing, I know it's possible to remove a blokkage or entity from someones field just with the snap of the fingers or a simple thought. My presence alone may be uplifting and I must trust in life orchestrating all humans somehow, so that my presence does not effect something without the other wanting it or allowing it or enjoying it.

What are the karmic processes that are set in motion when I send someone energy?

Be it my physical energy or thought energy, images, words and all the rest, general day to day interaction is always happening but if you manipulate someone psychically; is that 'bad'?

The answer lies in the word; manipulate (handle or control (a tool, mechanism, etc.), typically in a skillful manner: "he manipulated the dials"). My feeling is that any kind of manipulation that is detrimental to the life force of another is 'not done'.

Does sending energy to someone interfere with their free-will?

This whole phenomenon raises a lot of questions about the nature of free will and whether or not on some level there is consent from both parties in order for it to take place. Sometimes I don't feel that I am free to think certain thoughts, sometimes I feel I need to censor my thoughts just in case the person I am thinking about knows what I'm thinking about them or feeling for them or about them. Sometimes there seems to be no psychic privacy, I am not schizofrenic, sometimes I am overtly paranoid.

Who decides though what is bad or good for another and what about the reasoning of doing something just because you can, because it is possible for you to do so?

The secret force is there for those who are honorable. It is available to those who can integrate it fully. Just like learning to ride a bike or drive a car; it takes practise, it takes experience to learn to use the secret force properly without causing injury to self or others. There must be some heart space for it to rest in. It is very powerful. There doesn't seem to be much info on this subject as of yet; the mind-power thing and it's correlating energetic manifestations, it certainly is unknown terrain for most of us at this time.

This is not a drug induced phenomenon although it is very much alike to some of those experiences.
There is absolutely an altered state/reality here but it's more like the 'freakish' reality is the predominant one. The reality in which these things do not exist is unreal to me and more like an altered state of consciousness when I experience it. Sometimes I think I tampered with my brain a little but the force continues to grow stronger, previous posts on this blog confirm this and my psychoactive substance use on the other hand gets less and less.

Reiki has been a huge factor these last years. There is a link, it's all unraveling; any control I believed I had but didn't want.

I think I am a little scared of this power because I know it is so easily abused, I  have been down that road before, the one where violation is involved and it scares me, unconsciously and consciously, ok semi consciously. I may be trying to avoid situations in which I could be seduced into using this ability for my own selfish (percieved) gain. It's not something I can switch on or off! If my life force is weak or ungrounded then the force is less available and also weak for use.

I am puzzled about consequences. I seem to have no choice in the matter, this integrity is practically forced upon me by this ability.

the secret force and energetic interaction

They look at me, they all seem to be watching me, they seem struck with my countenance and my eyes glinting mysteriously with much depth. I grant you, I am no freak. It's all very fresh and unusual, I am not your average, this may be the first time they have ever encountered someone like me or this vibe.

Yes, the interest is welcome and flattering but I would say that it is not wholly by my doing, or my genes doing, or my personality. It is the secret force, available to all, maybe I am the new human.

They stare, they try to look away or they look away and then look back again, and I see an expression, one of bafflement and semi-shock on their faces, and some are angry at themselves as if they can no longer suppress/hide something.

Some people are lusty eyed, others are amused and attracted but I know better than to put it down to sex appeal, sometimes sexual energy is definately part of it but there's more to this strange interaction than just that.

It's often as if some beforehand unconscious inner spirit/soul part of them recognizes the spirit/soul part of me. The human beings personality/identity just thinks WTF is with that guy or WTF is with me checking him out???

from the archives

at the core 
there is no right or wrong 
only silence
no words, no violence, 
no reason for writing or fighting

all part of the show

the-compression-zone-by-cosmic-awareness-will-berlignhof
spiritual-maturity

trusting the obnoxious process

During this extreme time I feel the need to document some more vibes, I know it is another big squeeze because the intensity is almost too much to handle. Although I decided to give up the struggle, another illusion, I keep seeing identical double digits on clocks multiple times per day and I know that there is something going on, a larger plan, because I have been having unusual experiences for years now.

It cannot be that what I have learnt about energy work and healing modalities has been for nothing, that too must have some significance for the future, it must be that I am awake for a reason and that all the confusion and complication right now is part of the process. There must be some meaning for the future that I know all that I know; I refuse to believe that it is all just randomness.

A future self can come ‘back’ to my time and help me out, surely? All is happening simultaneously so backwards and forwards are 3D structures but the clocks, the double numbers? It seems to me more like a great pushing of some force, forcing me to encounter the world, there’s simply no time for zoning out properly; it’s all responsibility stuff in my face.

This brings me of course towards that understanding of comfort zone: perceived negativity leading me into the new because I know that if everything was peace and love I wouldn’t budge an inch and the experiences would keep on repeating themselves monotonously. Getting all worked up about being bored when suffering this time isn’t boring, it’s just exhausting. All part of the show!

My higher self with a wisdom age far beyond my years with experience from multiple lifetimes, it jumped ship and now it’s me in my late twenties on the brow, clinging on for dear life. The waves come high, the storm is terrible and I must navigate this human mess-age on my own. It’s why the pain and suffering is there, as a catalyst, as a contrast, as a means of transport. On the other side awaits the calm, so ride it out sailor boy.

very normal and calm now

We were having some friends around, we were sitting in the sun talking and laughing and that was when I saw my myth leaving me, it was just a brief moment. There was my own mythology like a ghostly form floating away and like smoke just dissolving into the air. The trees were singing, the sunlight was all over your hair, the breeze was layered on my face, it felt like a whole lifetime in just a second. Yes, it was the deep peace of the ancient earth. You all carried on talking and nobody noticed that anything was going on with me except Sidney. He came and lay down by my feet, bringing me back to the garden and I knew it was gone, life's haunting karmic toothpaste has been spat out and there I was; sitting and smiling with my sanitized pearly white teeth.

duality discussions 4

Everything is allowed.
Compassion surely invokes action?
I still don't know why i came to learn about MK.
Trauma based and all the rest.
Watch the pendulum swing.
Life is intense right now.
Ascension symptoms.
Saying all kinds of things I never would have said before.
Having my teachings thrown straight back at me.
I just can't get used to the idea that pain=pleasure.

duality discussions 3

Life as a school?

It would seem you are jealous of the complacency, it seems you are envious of the safe and predictable lives because you have a different brain chemistry that just needs intensity but at the same time you judge your experience as boring, unsatisfactory and unrewarding.
Really, as if someones appearance and fashion taste are divining, as if cursory outward details are a reliable signpost to whats under there, or in there or hanging around there?
Don't judge a book by it's cover, bookman. 
You forget I have psychic perception to a certain degree.
I don't like the word degree, I don't like the educational system, I thinks it totally fake.
Yesterday she said: it's your personality remember, always wanting to delve deeper and deeper, ever deeper for the core. You may have more thoughts in one day than your average human has in a year.
Can't you just accept that everyone is absolutely fine in their own way?
You compare yourself with people who are on a completely different trip. You claim you are on some kind of path that goes way beyond tolerance and yet you judge others without any regard for the tailored curriculum of the earth school.

duality discussions 2

Feeling like a fool, leaning towards the light, knowing that what I write will come into manifestation. Now I know that, well it's time to write about what I want from this life, and yes I have very high standards.
Something that has been approaching for ages has finally arrived: the confrontation with my beliefs about the duality.
My confusion is about the middle road again, the discussion is about my beliefs; are they valid?
Are my desires false? What about my intent? Is wanting to eliminate suffering from my life a fallacy of huge proportions? Are evil acts justified? Are my expectations naive and based around cognitive dissonance?
Fear, fear, fear. Done, done, done. Exhausted.
There are no true rewards for any behavior. It's like everyone knows this already except me, life can be fucked up but that's the fun part. Most people are having a total blast! It's fun out there!
craving=suffering
Me back on the cognitive grindstone and just all jaded about ethics.

Truth and falsity

Spinoza's notions of truth and falsity have to do with the relation between ideas and their objects. He thinks that:

Every idea that in us is absolute, or adequate and perfect, is true.

Falsity consists in the privation of knowledge which inadequate, or mutilated and confused, ideas involve.

"Good" and "Evil"

Spinoza gives the following definitions of "Good", and "Evil":

By good I shall understand what we certainly know to be useful to us.

By evil, however, I shall understand what we certainly know prevents us from being masters of some good.

 from wiki

duality discussions

The norm is tragic and cynical to me. The false desire heaped upon false desire and the acting, yes, the world is a stage, the pretentious masking of it all, it can be just useless. How falsehood and deceit can be edgy: who may know?

The norm is painful and confusing to me. The lack of originality and integrity I see, the neediness for trends and models just so off-putting. I am not interested in form, completely bored with behavioral patterns that are formed from a need to compensate for perceived lack.

The reality of mind control flares up all around me through the controlled thoughts and beliefs of those I interact with, so blatant and so hopeless. They humans are not to be blamed or judged?

True, I know some who are free of it; there are those, some friends and family members and they know about the mechanisms now. This level of fortune, knowing them, completes the level of pain.

Reality will continue to hit me over the head until I accept its teachings and then it will punch me some more about some other deal I forgot to close. In fact I’m sure it doesn’t really matter what you do; if you chase the desire, go the way of indulgence, slip and slide from Amsterdam to Addis Ababa.

You will always return to a world filled with false pretenses, false desires, and false beliefs. You are in control, mate of mine, baby, baby. You wouldn’t want it any other way and that might make you laugh and cringe at the same time.

they descend in new forms from the tips of his fingers

Wherever he goes men and women accept and desire him,
They desire he should like them and touch them and speak to them and stay with them.

I see you understand yourselves and me

And that my steps drag behind yours yet go before them,
And are aware how I am with you no more than I am with everybody.

i become as much more as i like

That being said; I can't deny the life force rising, there is so much energy wanting to come through. Something has changed again. I have been reset once more. New cycle, me suddenly wanting to communicate again, somewhat manic as it goes, calling up old friends after years, including minor details for the superficial banter. The best part is the absence of sensorship on my voice, on my actions, on my thoughts.

drop the struggle

I have been pushing myself to pursue a spiritual path and so vigorously trying to embody the virtue and to be honest succeeding to some extent but somehow that too has not been properly balanced.

As cliché as it may sound, I too have been harassed by that ‘zeitgeist’ of immediate rewards and outcomes and a lot of frustration it has caused and I am now kind of done with it all.

Surely some foundation has been laid out but waiting for my worldly persona to catch up has been testing to my split self. The lack of grounding in the world has helped to develop the sense of isolation and feeling of difference but the worst has been the boredom and lack of pleasure.

Some questions have arisen now about the value of those studies and about the spiral because sometimes you go down while going round. One stair step can span years, time in my perception is a difficult concept, and my strivings have been counter to those of others around me.

Needing a break from that quest for truth, as doubtful as it sounds knowing me but you learn from experience. Channeling experiments were hopeful but the question of interference always came up, I’m not ready yet. Can that just be ok?

It’s fine for me to be imperfect, it doesn’t matter that I’m not good enough. Maybe truth really is for suckers. Maybe the path is also just another illusion, a stupid past-time of wanting to be some person that I already am. I am that.