On the crest of the wave

Spring 2006 I’ve noticed that suddenly everyone is talking about energy and seeming to have assimilated certain words and meanings into the everyday language. I seem to be on the edge, on the crest of certain waves, on the crest of certain energies. The world is moving forward. Everyone is slowly changing, slowly evolving, moving forward. Its only when you take a step back that you realize that everything is linked and like a giant organism, the universe as we know it, the earth is growing and vibrating, pulsating with life and transforming, wave upon wave. On the crest of the wave is where I find myself from time to time. It is where I long to be. It is where I belong

Detachment - I don’t necessarily need the answers anymore

I have realized these past weeks the significance of what I have been learning from life these past months, the books I have been reading, the new people I have been meeting and the old feelings that are fleeting. It is as if I have surfaced after holding my breath in the murky depths of some dark lake, and close to drowning I was. I have surfaced now and am drawing in the pure air and looking up at the vastness of a clear blue sky. I used to take life so damn seriously, I was so ‘deep’ and so totally fascinated by all the mystery and trying to find answers to all the drama. It had become almost too much to bear. In fact it had become too much to bear, over and over again I would analyze things to death, never really getting any closer to the truth. I was so attached to life. That is the problem with approaching something with the intellect and not with the heart. I’m not saying in the least that I don’t analyze things anymore, I shall never stop, and analyzing and pondering things is quite inherent to my personality (INFJ). These past years have been important for me to reach this point, reach some perspective! I will always need some kind of code to crack; I will always need the myth. It’s just not so relevant what the outcome of that analyzing is, I don’t necessarily need the answers anymore and they shall come in time as I have recently learnt. That is when the questions fall away and the truths start to appear. When you stop thinking about what you want, you start to get the things you need. This new way of living, this ‘taking things as they come’ way of looking and experiencing the world is quite liberating. I have more time to relax, look around me and enjoy the surroundings, the people and the things that come along my way. Adults forget sometimes how to be playful, how to use their imagination, how to have fun. I may just be too young to understand why though.

Boulder removal

I looked up at the sky like I always do when stepping outside. A smile played on my lips, hovered there for a little while like a dragonfly would. Today I felt that what I saw was just an image in my minds eye. It was no longer a painting by my usual self, no dreaminess to make myself feel better, this was picture perfect viewing, a perfect projection of self actualization and actual peace, and a piece of real heaven on canvas. The blanket of cloud from several days had gone, the cloudiness of feeling too, only the clarity of soul remained, the vacancy of a soul that has emerged from under a huge boulder to soak up some soft rays.

Presence in all things present

As I entered the tent I felt her presence in all things present, in every object and thing, the very air I breathed seemed to know of her. Several oil lamps and candles lit up the interior which was very cozy, thick rugs and cushions lay sprawled around, incense so sweet curled up into the air and from the ceiling hung silver stars and crystals. She was sitting in the lotus and smiled warmly as I entered, her gaze filled me with fear that raged for split seconds and then softly ebbed away, replaced by a pure sense of vitality and destiny and above all inner peace. In the seconds that our eyes met and locked I beheld the galaxy in them and millions of stars. Everything a man can know or will ever know was there deep in her eyes, my own limitations were laid bare before me and I had to acknowledge them. Then it was gone and there was nothing, nothing except her sitting in this tent in the present moment and me standing there before her.