Friendship goes through (extreme) pluto in capricorn during mercury retrograde

I'm sorry that I cause you extreme pain, that you feel that my vibe is like a fist crushing you, that u sense a huge amount of anger/rage in my vibe and that it is somehow aimed at you.

I feel I have spent my whole life making concessions for everyone around me, especially emotional ones. 

The conversation we just had and your accusations really bother me. So much that I feel that our friendship has now changed.

I refuse to become a watered down version of myself because you feel threatened. 

Threatened by what exactly?

Is this cognitive dissonance on your part in relation to the subject matter that threatens your entrenched view of the subjects and people (politicians) involved?

Politics is part of most things, nothing is really devoid of politics or view-compromise, so I feel we can no longer have an honest dialogue. 

I'm unsure why exactly my apparent vibe hurts you so intensely.
What exactly is happening to your sense of self and safety while I'm giving off this 'vibe' and why is that?

I never intend to make anything personal and yet you feel this personally...as an attack on your person?

Thank you for shedding light on our friendship, though I don't know how I will ever be exonerated from your accusations when they are aimed at a perceived transitory state as far as I am concerned and not within my conscious awareness.

Should this behavior become part of my conscious awareness then I will question whether of not I shall feel justified to make changes. I feel now more than ever that I need to allow and give space for my whole being and not feel like I have to hide or adjust anything. This is part of my integrity. 

I will give it thought obviously as the whole thing (his political stance is pain-inducing and threatening because it's also seething with rage directed at my person????) is quite obscure to me and perplexes me, mostly because it's so vague and I never, ever seek to cause anyone pain, on the contrary I seek to allow harmony between all people. 

I feel no attachment to politics on any deep level, my attachment is to seeking truth and speaking my truth. This I have found can cause others distress and I understand why that is and so it would be better if we never discuss anything remotely political again and seeing as most things we discuss have a political element maybe it is better we stick to discussing the weather and the state of the roads from now on.

Know this for all of my days

Some past part of me is being recycled back into my current life.
I was in a great transition, playing the hanged man like my soul was put on hold. Now there are pieces coming back to me; parts of the whole.

This is another soul-retrieval spanning years that is coming to completion. I can feel as I once did, yet from a more grounded perspective, yes this is a new freedom.

There are many new questions and doubts as there must be. There are new paths unwinding and doors firmly shut behind me.

Some would say; well you are getting older, this is only natural. I could agree, yet I feel younger, much younger, I'm going through a new adolescence as my spirit is rejuvenated.

No-one is old unless they feel young and innocent again, moving through a time and place that is untouched by attachment to outcomes. Now I am ready to be alone, to be whole, to be fulfilled as I am.

Don't look back, just leave it, let it be. I have wanted this for so long. Only my body could show me, teach me. It felt like lifetimes of pain, they were just years. It felt like an onslaught; brutal in it's tenacity yet nothing could be so loving as this body has been to me. I would never have listened, so stubborn is the flesh. I was wary of the brightness.

So intense is the light that we all cling and cower in the shadows of our own making, all will be made clear, all will be realized to be released. In time we all grow old and older and then young again, again and again.

What always got me was the serpent that devours the tail and twists and turns around the tree in a spiral of flirtatious longing and deceptive loving.

It confused me to know my lustful nature, it confused me to know my purity of being. They are intertwined always, so whispers my body softly. Come hither and lye down; I am moaning in ecstasy for the earthiness of my incarnation.

I am sprawled out like a landscape, shining this sun on my chest, on my arms and legs and on my face. I am massaging the living waters into my skin, rubbing and smoothing the features.
I have come to know this as medicine for the soulful glands.

It all just flows like a mountain stream now. To know this for all of my days, o to realize this for the rest of my many years.