vocabulary of spring...forgotten

I am losing the will to go on, comfort has disappeared like the summer and now the autumn is leaving. I forgot to change my clothes, my coat of ever changing hues. It no longer reflects the sunlight’s rays, the green of leafy trees or the deep blue of the sky. I journey onwards without much hope, I have lost myself again, I cannot remember the vocabulary of spring, I have forgotten what those words used to sound like as they left my mouth. Thoughts have become mutterings of gloom in closed off spaces where cruel laughter can be heard and looks are seldom without malice. I know I should be laughing, I should be running through fields of flowers and walking beside streams, on hill tops looking down on sleepy villages. For a time I was moon bathing, my cloak captured the light, shimmering as I walked and clouds escaped through my lips. The fullness of it shook my foundations, warmed my ambition, the legend was laid down before me and the reason, now I only care to dream.

Most things lie untouched through fear, fear to knock down the doors of illusion. Behind them the earth is free of selection, division and differentiation. It is impossible to deny; my love is not shy, only my faith and trust in the releasing of it and the appreciation...the attraction of the needed material with which to manifest the unknown.