Waiting To Polarize?

sex-confusion

Years have passed and the fire still burns late at night, there is less confusion, all thoughts are pushed away, they may return at a later date, for now it is clear; I cannot choose and I need not. All of this society would be happier if I did, it might mean that they have some perspective, a label to stick on me, a box to put me in. Ha, I am sorry all, but for now I remain somewhat elusive when it comes to this.

But what of love? For certainly those that love me would like some certainty, o I love you man and yes I love you woman. Rest assured I love you both but in this human arena the love does differ, the feel of it changes from time to time, the body is the same but you that I lye with: you are changing, my lust is changing like seasons flowing into one another.

I always return to her in my mind, I see her as the goal, the ending, quite sure that is my conditioning rearing up again but this brings confusion and joy for I am young! He is more like a passing ship or an island, and I stranded happily on his shores, together walking, sleeping in the sun and more. When the tide comes in the ocean beckons, the sea goddess is spreading the waves bringing in the moon and I am lost without her, there is no strength in him, he is weak as I am.

Once caught up in the emotion, just floodwaters of intimacy, her body is like an anchor for me, we are one. It is from here on that I think and sink, muse over the future, making plans on my own until I lose interest and seek new shores. She is waiting for me to drown so she might rescue me and take me in.

So much electricity when he is near, so much excitement, so many past life memories enthralling me when we are together, so much sex-energy! I could not leave this momentum in my life to settle down until she calls me, until she is once again in the main frame and then I long for her.

Man and woman you are in my life. Such a complex pendulum of confusion and so you see: I must stay elusive, alone I am at rest, a star in space. When love is near I will take it, I will resonate with it, I will give it back in return but you see my lovers: I am still waiting to earth, still waiting to polarize.