Surely it is up to each individual to decide what they find intolerable

At least with this system (voluntary euthanasia), anyone with depression, particularly reactive depression, might be flagged up and helped and counselled rather than taking matters into their own hands and leaving relatives wringing their hands and saying "if only s/he had said something". If, after counselling and/or treatment if possible, the individual still finds their life intolerable, who is anyone else to tell them otherwise?

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Of course it’s terribly sad, but assisted dying is essential. Denying a person the right to die on their own terms is unethical. Obviously strict standards and criteria need to be maintained to absolutely eliminate any possibility of coercion and to ensure that the individual is of sound mind, but if those criteria are met, then I’m 100% in favour of this.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/mar/17/assisted-dying-euthanasia-netherlands

There is always a thought that slipped in below the level of our mindfulness practice that brings it on.

Good to hear that your tooth thing is better.

I had a depressive episode at work this afternoon, it was the kind of episode that comes on without warning, although last night I felt some of those isolation feelings so that was sort of a prelude. The pain has been quite bad, waking up from it in the night and just the usual vibe of complete alienation I suppose triggered the slide, also Leo made a remark about this one guys girlfriend being attractive/hot that somehow just caused me to energetically deplete. I can only conclude that subconsciously I have some kind of pathetic ego wound/sense of entitlement that my soul/being doesn't really care much for, is disinterested in. It would seem that happiness and experience/learning/growing are not mutually inclusive when the soul/higher self is concerned. As usual I can also conclude that support in life for meaning and joy is meager/mediocre at best. What else is new?

Anyways I was feeling quite good this morning, I found a book at the store; Dying. A memoir. The book starts out with the author (Cory Taylor) explaining how she acquired a euthanasia-solution/medication from China. As you can imagine I got into it rather fast, death being a fascination of mine and I've now almost finished it. Reading has rekindled a sense of solace for me and I hope to read more now.

Pain level has been quite bad recently although I am managing it. I have been trying my best to understand the meaning of this condition. As usual I am trying to discover if there are lessons involved, if somehow there is wisdom to be gleaned from such incessant torment and suffering. The very notion is somewhat infuriating because I am often prone to approach life in this way, to my detriment.

I hate to think of the future as a place where I am rewarded for my suffering due to acquired insight that may help others. Although I can be very compassionate I see day by day the ever growing numbers of zombified, pineal-gland calcified fellow humans who I have to interact with and yet also 'be myself' with. I think depression is a fair response to feeling misunderstood and undervalued. What else is new?

No doubt I will bounce back in due time as I always do, perhaps the whole thing is more meaningful as you always say, even though we don't know exactly how or why.

looking death in the eye 2

In pondering the world moment, feelings of anguish or fear must certainly come up. But to focus upon these feelings – to indulge them, to make the exercise about them — is to miss the point.

The point is to make a declaration that we choose to respond, rather than react, to life — as it is, here and now. It is a solemn promise not to sleepwalk through the rest of our tenure on Earth.

If we believe that everything is connected, it follows that the responsibility for the world situation is shared. So in our prayer we are not blaming others, nor dumping global horrors in the laps of the gods. Neither are we hoisting them, martyr-like, upon our own shoulders.

To look death in the eye, in this spirit, is a small symbolic gesture of huge spiritual significance. We are taking responsibility for having incarnated when and where we did. We are telling our soul that we haven’t forgotten it. We are recommitting to its purpose.

Mother Sky

anger is here, death will come

....so I just did this whole half-drunk depressive rant on the phone to my mum, how I'm drinking now, hoping to slowly kill myself, because I'm so lonely and I don't understand why so many people take an interest in me and like me and yet...

My mum is like; have u thought about seeing a doctor for your depression?

the cold of this climate

Through this undertone of deep sorrow
I continue to wish that it was over
This life, because I have never had the time
for romance, soul longing
Desert of rampant gay sex destruction
spread like a cosmos of death
They claim it brings joy but I cry such tears
at the lack I perceive, the cold of this climate
My soul, you know of this cruelty, you know of this desolation,
yet you do nothing, you pitiful creature
It is not great what you have done.
This sort must be extinct, the species that would love and be loved
so simple, somehow innocent, you are naive, you are dumb!
Such wishful fantasy to think
that your fellow men, even know it
You percieve, such fellowship, fools practise
this temporary oblivion.
I am dying, I pray I am dying
This reality just renders me, these dying embers are gutting,
cutting to the inner flesh of me,
such a simple thing; a touch, a smile, simple romance
unknown, companionship,
I cannot be contained here, I am alone
just a tremble of warmth, I see none in this city
I am a sorrow, self pity
no, no, not going out to get
to take, steal, there are none

Mystic Odes 833 by Rumi

Our death is our wedding with eternity. What is the secret?

God is One.

The sunlight splits when entering the windows of the house. This multiplicity exists in the cluster of grapes; It is not in the juice made from the grapes.

For he who is living in the Light of God, the death of the carnal soul is a blessing. Regarding him, say neither bad nor good, For he is gone beyond the good and the bad.

Fix your eyes on God and do not talk about what is invisible, so that he may place another look in your eyes. It is in the vision of the physical eyes that no invisible or secret thing exists.

But when the eye is turned toward the Light of God. What thing could remain hidden under such a Light? Although all lights emanate from the Divine Light, don't call all these lights "the Light of God";

It is the eternal light which is the Light of God, the ephemeral light is an attribute of the body and the flesh. ...

Oh God who gives the grace of vision! The bird of vision is flying towards You with the wings of desire.

Black Of day, Dark Of Night

by Zeteticus

How many of you have a voice in your head telling you you're nothing, you're a loser, your life amounts to absolutely nothing? Sometimes, the darkness of depression is so thick you can slice through it with a knife. Life seems to hold little, if any, real meaning. I realize it's a process; sometimes we must undergo such suffering, but God, it's so difficult.

In my view, such feelings are the manifestation of a death-process, a dying of the old so that the new can come forth. This is the way of Nature. Just as Winter brings death to things in Nature, so we too experience a dying. I know I usually do every year about this time.

When I get like this, it's very difficult to write. I feel so uninterested in most everything, especially trying to figure out what life is all about. I have come to the conclusion that one should simply live for the moment and forget about all the extraneous bullshit that life brings. Just experience this particular moment for what it is. So it's black; shit happens. Live it, breathe it, feel it. It's part of existence (I am showing my existentialist bent). Fuck everything else. Just exist. Enigmatic Nothingness