"I HEAR AMERICA SINGING" (1860)

I hear America singing, the varied carols I hear,
Those of mechanics, each one singing his as it should be blithe and strong,
The carpenter singing his as he measures his plank or beam,
The mason singing his as he makes ready for work, or leaves off work,
The boatman singing what belongs to him in his boat, the deckhand singing on the steamboat deck,
The shoemaker singing as he sits on his bench, the hatter singing as he stands,
The wood-cutter's song, the ploughboy's on his way in the morning, or at noon intermission or at sundown,
The delicious singing of the mother, or of the young wife at work, or of the girl sewing or washing,
Each singing what belongs to him or her and to none else,
The day what belongs to the day—at night the party of young fellows, robust, friendly,
Singing with open mouths their strong melodious songs.

that feeling of falling apart

"I didn't even know what reality was... then these lines came into my head and something said don't stop writing. I started to write my lines, they're called poems but in reality they are lines for me to hold onto, my hanging-on lines, it was real to me, it was a parting gift from Tina. Whatever happens just follow the writing and I might be able to find some kind of center. Whatever my future is... to see how long I get to participate... she gave me the lines to follow... so I won't fall completely... that feeling of falling apart, it doesn't go away."

- John Trudell, from the 2005 Heather Rae documentary, "Trudell."

sacred shroom

we used them as currency
cost sometimes more than a reindeer

first chewed by the women
then eaten by the men
baked in the rysbes

the flesh of the gods
high in protein
when meat is scarce

illud tempus of the soma
by snake and by toad
we seek thee

divine mushroom of immortality

manual for the meek

allow for the transhumans
to roam the flat earth
if they so please

let the zombie-folk
explore the weeping willow

unless they awaken
then lead them out
into the field for release

theory is always multiferious
don't read too much into it

wine refrain

honesty of expression
in such a closed scene

warm glow of joy
your hair, eyes

I realised
an aura of serenity

makes the summer night
hold so much, so close

he is in the hearts of all

The wandering swan of the soul dwells in the castle of nine gates of the body and flies away to enjoy the outer world. He is the master of the universe: of all that moves and of all that moves not.

Svetasvatara Upanishad

keeps all things under his protection

Come down to us, Rudra, who art in the high mountains. Come and let the light of thy face, free from fear and evil, shine upon us. Come to us with thy love.

Svetasvatara Upanishad

melancho remix 2

26/09/2014

music in the night

dub reggae

slow down 

meet the memory 

cloud movies 

of the mind 

skin on skin 

perfume lingers 

the band plays on

the floating chords

melancho remix

26/09/2014

dark thunderheads approach

through the windows here

I am this body that aches  

creaks alone

day is passing white sand

through my fingers 

evening comes as a remedy 

soothing as a lotion 

cracked skin of my land

drink of the old solution 

the song of Solomon it carries
as a siren across the tide

drowning in the creek
face down in the stagnant water

I hide in the grasses 

weeping for my lost shepherd

in the darkness I am racked 

for my heart is over the moor 

with sadness on his brow 

like was his trade

glacial water

I was walking
to the valley
to the stony dwelling
to shut out
the sinking star

down to the river
to the water flowing

I pour my heart
to the starry sky
no thoughts
anymore

Emotions come
I am walking
down to the river
to the water flowing

Their Karma will come knocking on their door demanding payment

patient is the man 

that can see the empty shells
behind the screen the fulfillment

that lasts beyond this life

on the mountains the snow
may come and go
this dwelling is in the rocks

this movement is glacial

ice that cracks
sunlight that spirals

finds the years go by

foolish are they
who squander the oil of life
with temporary oblivion

what did they find?
spirits cling to them to torment

he who can look beyond
found strength and purpose
that goes on in deliverance

substance for illumination

care not

you think you've reached a level
that your comfortable with
you find that it's just another shortcut to the pain
there are certain situations
that shove you out of your comfort zone
that is where the pain is

even though you used to be so secure
in those kind of situations
now you are a fish out of water
because you have become more real
open now to men in a whole different way

one that is closer
to you
to the pain
new opportunities arise
for growth
they say

i cannot handle
cope

i choose alcohol
i choose to harm
poison this body
i choose oblivion
give me vodka

i cannot understand
how this good stuff makes me
so frustrated
something good happened
never felt so low

i want death
i want to never
leave the house again

people like you
you are very nice
to have
around

cannot handle
cope

feel only sadness
when they approach
or look
at me

i feel I am gasping for air
knowing  that I am
as the breath
that leaves the body

i cannot show myself?
the real
so painful?

it was never a problem
naked in the night
for sex
never much of a deal
confident

change is here
reiki
i do not understand
this frustration
just being out there

split personality
cannot heal
this is here
hate suddenly all things
that remind me
of those years

that remind me
that there are people
interested in me
that like me

understand it not
my purpose
that is
pain
not worth this

when step out
wanting
find only inner pain

vodka
weed
numbness
comfort
self medication

know not how to move
care not

winter can enter

Before I know it, I will be gone again, to begin again.

Will I have realized by then my potential?

To be aware of how this life is.

I am not the same person that I was.
I am grown, the behaviour no longer fits, the attitude is different.

It is not the same, I am a player in a new game, and yet it is the same.

To practise caution is what I might learn even when hopeful, even when receiving.
I am aware of myself sometimes giving towards causes that would seem profitable.
This has been my state of late.

From the past I would learn that I have only just left it, I should enjoy the change.
When the dream becomes real there is time to reflect, to express gratitude.

The winter can enter.

like this

If anyone asks you how the perfect satisfaction of all our sexual wanting will look,
lift your face and say,

Like this.

When someone mentions the gracefulness of the nightsky,
climb up on the roof and dance and say,

Like this.

If anyone wants to know what "spirit" is,
or what "God's fragrance" means,

lean your head toward him or her.
Keep your face there close.

Like this.

When someone quotes the old poetic image about clouds gradually uncovering the moon,
slowly loosen knot by knot the strings of your robe.

Like this.

~ Rumi

way back home

The childhood days are dead and gone
But the memories still linger on

i am here, i am, here, i

In this physical arena, I give you ether.
I give you rise to compromise.
I offer you a higher plateau, not practical like you.
I’ll float away unless you pull me down.
Hold me down, on home-ground.
Unless you surrender to this force
I remain unfound.

melancho

26-09

I don't understand, I don't understand, living well seems to be to no avail here

I miss u baby.

So close by there are those that succeed in this game and then there is loss.

The lust lies scattered like dust over this silver, there is no core to this pain, there is no explanation for this missing, this fate is just choking me.

I know you go on with her, with them, into the distance you are walking and I feel like I will forever be trailing, out in the cold behind.

Kiss me one more time for this forbidden love ending, you can hold your head high with your companions and me on the sidelines, I have been waiting, filling up the cracks with studies of life; futile.

I knew I was cheating myself, falling in love with this premonition, when I should know when fear is gone, numbness prevails.

It looks like the longing for a full, deep and intense experience is universally present but can never be fulfilled in this life, any experience of this is fleeting and perishable, fragile.

This results in clingy behavior but desire is rotting, it stinks and yet it never leaves us.

To be able to feel and know anything in its totality is a futile pursuit and impossible for it goes against the nature of reality in which only change is a constant.

We will be forever moving through differing states, moving through contradicting emotions and relationships and pining for a state of love, pleasure or contentment that is lasting but nothing lasts beyond any measure of time, certainly not love, certainly not desire.

When the dark thunderheads approached me through the window, here was this body that aches and creaks alone.

For the day is passing like the white sands through my fingers, for the evening comes as a remedy to be mixed, soothing as a lotion for the cracked skin of my land.

I drink of the old solution that I once shared, the song of Solomon and in the air it carries as a siren across the tide.

Drowning in the creek, face down in the muddy water, I would surface but hide, in the grasses I weep for my lost shepherd, in the darkness I am racked for my heart.

He came over the moor with sadness on his brow, like was his trade.

When the music comes in the night; the dub reggae, then shall I slow down to meet the memory of you while I lye and absorb. 

Drinks can never fully numb me out to this romance, smoke can never fully cloud the movies of the mind, sleep can not shut out the sensation of skin on skin. 

Your perfume lingers on my shirt, the band plays on, the floating chords.

wave on its way

full of this season
down to the river
to the water flowing

the eye in the eye

we do not speak of that
love/death
prefer not to speculate
knowledge protects

we do not feel truly alive
sexual machinations
more like a fly
trapped in a web

toying with scenario's
based on assumptions
when did that work?
in the flesh

the spirit is static
like a backwater
comletely submerged
maya maya

Solitude, I say, is the essence of mysticism: and I add, the basis of its supreme social importance...

autumn here
moon changed
spirit revived?

less pressure
in the valley
slow path

more silver
kali yuga
new name?

waiting in vain
no more hide
they lied

overtly positive
people often
seem old

useless bane
rising tide
same game