The NF Empathy Shift

Why I (INFJ) sometimes feel so restless, why I sometimes feel like people are sucking me dry, clinging to me, hooked on to me and why sometimes people have such high expectations of me?
This piece of writing explains why!

Although NFs (intuitive feeling) especially the male NF, become restless if others (including mates, children, or parents) are dependant, NFs have in their own personalities characteristics that promote this dependancy. They pride themselves on being sensitive to others and caring about them. It is almost impossible for NFs to be unaware of others psychological needs. Yet the NF becomes restless when these ties begin to bind, as they do when the amount of emotional input becomes a psychological overload for the NF. At this point the NF can seem cruel, insisting unexpectedly that the other "stand on his own two feet." This shift in attitude is usually abrubt and the person who heretofore believed that he was very special in the eyes of the NF now finds himself apparently rejected. The NF does not mean to be unkind; he or she is simply disconnecting a relationship which can no longer be handled - in spite of the reality that the NF created this dependant relationship through expressions of empathy and unique understanding. Building empathic relationships is second nature to this temperament, a master of the art of intimacy. But as those around the NF want more and more attention, more and more expressions of this unusual appreciation, more and more signals of deep affection, the NF becomes restless and resentful of pressures to deliver what had seemed promised: the ideal love, the perfect friendship, complete understanding, and total acceptance.

The NF is vulnerable to this kind of misunderstanding because of his extraordinary capabilities to introject. He can take into himself the point of view, the emotions, and the psychological state of another so completely that the other feels totally recieved. The other person may not realize that the NF does this in most relationships, and may be hurt on discovering that he is not valued as uniquely as he first thought. When the NF leaves each person, the NF no longer resonates to that person but relates to the person now present.

The Apollonian (NF) Mate

Please Understand Me - Character and Temperament Types - David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates