an event that departs from expectations

A long time ago, about 5 years, it seems like an age behind me, anyways, a wise healer told me; that I need not worry about doing so much for now and try to settle down with the just 'being'. There would be some discrepancy between me and 'other' people, especially my peers, that it would ease up later on (around age 31/32/33) - conflict or variation, as between facts, figures, or claims.

Now the struggle for me is often between being and doing; placing too much value on material results with very high expectations placed on myself and upon others versus; the calm, collected persona that is comfortable to be alive and living his truth with dignity and integrity, allowing all to live and let live.

So there has been quite some friction, mostly mentally though also emotionally regarding myself and others, being and doing. Between the old ways of restriction programming and mind-control and the new ways of conscious creation and free-flow.
Honestly, it has been hard, extremely difficult at times, to function and operate in society, with other people, with the systems and institutions that are in place and with the mindset and beliefs of 'other' people.

Yes! to practice compassion, yes! to a non-judgmental attitude, yes! to non-attachment.
More and more people are waking up!
Yes, there is frustration, depression and anger involved.

So when confronted with the world and the 'other', I feel I should be doing more, activity, raising awareness, getting upset, working hard, earning money, resisting...do something.

I am doing something in my way but the doing is through being: embodiment.
Polarity-integration is always first energetic and is therefore physical 'work', great mental energy is often required, I am being me, I am in a process of great refinement, a transition, integration of opposing forces. There are very few who understand the dynamic of this work.

So at this time, these years of my life, being me and discovering/anchoring my truth (mystery school) is more important than achieving great material/financial/emotional success in the worldly sphere, like is expected of me, it may come, there may be much activity later on, for now though; to just hold the energetic space, to claim neutral ground, clear the path of control and deception etc is the way to go, that is about all I can do at this point. I must remember this (hanged man tarot) is temporary.

So what?  if the whole game is rigged, if most people will never wake up, if the world is going insane and slowly all life is being poisoned by the cult of selfishness and death, so what?

This conscious witness is calm, responds appropriately, no emotional reaction, understands the support, both eyes open to see the beauty in the breakdown.